Bowlers' Guide to Public Speaking

Last night, I went bowling with some friends.

During the third frame, I threw the bowl straight down the middle - like an arrow pointed towards the center of the dart board.

To my dismay, I only knocked down seven pins. To make matters worse, the three pins left were on opposite sides of the alley. What's a bowler to do?

Turns out, the middle pin or head pin is not the one you want to hit if you hope to knock 'em all down.

A few frames later, I hit the pocket, that space right between the head pin and either pin next to it. Strike!

Often when we get up to speak, we try to hit that middle pin. We make our point so clearly and so directly, that we leave no space for the audience to absorb it. When you deliver the "straight down the middle" speech, many people may your understand message, but you will never truly wow the audience - you will never bowl a strike.

A really great speaker has the ability to deliver a message with force and precision - while deliberately leaving space for the audience to have that moment of self-discovery and transformation.

From the Green Room: When you get up to speak, aim for the pocket. Aim not just to get your point across, but to communicate in such a way to enables your listeners to discover your message for themselves.

More Speaking Wisdom from the Karate Kid

Someone who read my last post on the Karate Kid asked me, "How can I ever hope to prepare like Danny LaRusso? I don't have time to practice repetitive motions all day!"

Oh yes, you do.

The average person speaks 16,000 words per day. That's 16,000 chances to practice your speaking skills.

The next time you are talking with a friend, practice maintaining sustained eye contact. The next time you read a story to your child, practice varying your voice. And the next time you speak to a sales clerk at the grocery store, practice keeping your body in an open stance.

Mr. Miyagi would be proud.

From the Green Room: Each day provides us with dozens of opportunities to practice using our voices. The more you work at strengthening your voice in casual conversation, the better you will sound when you get up to give a speech.

Wax On, Wax Off Public Speaking

Yesterday, our family spent a delightful morning (re)watching the Karate Kid.

One of my favorite scenes in the movie was when Mr. Miyagi teaches Daniel LaRusso karate by having him do a series of seemingly endless chores. For each chore, he instructs to Daniel to use a specific arm motion over and over again.

Frustrated, Daniel wonders when he will ever learn "real Karate?"


Just as he is about to throw in the towel, Mr. Miyagi demonstrates that the very motions he used to sand the floor, wax the cars, and paint the fence were exactly the motions Daniel needed to effectively block any punch. Those hours and hours he had spent practicing and mastering those simple motions paid off in spades.

One of the lessons we can learn here is about the importance of preparation.

People often ask me, "How can I learn to speak on the spot?" There are no magic tricks to mastering this skill.

If you know your stuff, keep up on your reading, and walk into meetings assuming that you could be asked to speak, you will do just fine.

From the Green Room: Being prepared means knowing your area of expertise well enough so that you are able to speak comfortably about it at any time. Each time you enter a situation where you could be asked to say something, assume you will be and prepare accordingly. Keep doing it. Over time, this will get easier and easier.

Can't wait to see the remake this year...

Speech Advice from the Boss

After listening to quite a few bad acceptance speeches at this year's Golden Globe Awards, here's a great one:



No magic potion here. He's 100 percent himself. Humble. Lyrical. Inspiring.

From the Green Room: Find your authentic voice. There is no great way to communicate your message. And no greater gift you can give your audience.

3...2...1 Lift Off!

My five-year old son is passionately interested in space shuttles.

As a near complete ignoramus on the subject, I am grateful to be learning new things from him each day.

Just recently, for instance, he opened my eyes to the wonder of the Solid Rocket Boosters (SRBs). I had no idea, for example, that two SRBs provide the main thrust to lift the shuttle off the launch pad. Once the shuttle has reached an altitude of 150,000, the rockets drop into the ocean and are subsequently recovered.

Imagine that.

These enormous rockets' sole purpose is the get the shuttle on it's way.

Then it hit me.

This is what's missing from so many presentations.

So often, we begin a presentation with hesitation and self-deprecation, when what we really need is 2,800,000 pounds of force. Without a powerful lift-off, your presentation will never get off the ground.

What every presentation needs is a pair of Solid Rocket Boosters.

Let's call the first one the "Content Rocket Booster." Get right into the heart of your message. Don't waste time with pleasanteries. Demonstrate immediately that you have something significant to offer your listeners.

Let's call the second one the "Delivery Rocket Booster." This rocket takes off from the moment you walk up to the podium. Even your most powerful content will lose it's liftoff force if it is not supported by your delivery.

And the amazing thing about your SRBs? Like the space shuttle SRBs, you can reuse them again and again. Once you have developed one powerful opener, you can replicate much of the energy, structure, and delivery in subsequent presentations.

From the Green Room: Think of your opener as a space shuttle liftoff. You need extra power - in both content and delivery - to fully capture the audience's attention and get your speech off the ground.

Know. Feel. Do.

As a small business owner, I looked forward to hearing this ABC video, "Winners of the Home-Based 100." Rich Sloan, co-founder of StartupNation discusses three of the winners and the entrepreneurial strategy each one uses. Click on the link below and then click on the second video at the bottom of the screen.

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=9231744




Rich does a terrific job of implementing three of my favorite speaking strategies:

1. He speaks as if he is having a one-on-one conversation with the listener.

2. He uses the Rule of Three.

3. He uses Know, Feel, Do.

What do I mean?

The first company offers a cognitive lesson. Sloan talks about Priceless Profiles, a company that produces improved profiles for online dating. The take-home strategy here is that the company takes a common skill (writing) and uses it in an uncommon market. This is clearly a knowledge-based strategy.

The second company immediately connects to our emotions. Haralee Weintraub, a breast cancer survivor, had suffered from night sweats during her chemo-therapy treatment and started a business selling wicking PJs. The listener could not help but feel inspired and moved by Haralee's story.

Finally, the third company tackled the action piece. Christine Perkett, founder of Perkett PR, advises entrepreneurs to "Listen as much as you can" to what the market is saying.

From the Green Room: When using the Rule of Three, the order matters.

1. Know. First give your listeners a vital piece of information.
2. Feel. Next, connect to their emotions.
3. Do. Finally, tell them exactly what action you want them to take.

Know. Feel. Do. It's simple, it's clear and it works.

Speech Advice from Mary Poppins

Here's something we all know - but too often forget:

If your words say one thing and your delivery says the opposite, your audience almost always believes your delivery.

Watch the song "Stay Awake" from Mary Poppins, and let it serve as a gentle reminder of this principle:



From the Green Room: Synthesize your content and your delivery. If your words are meant to inspire and awaken, and your message doesn't match, you just might end up (in your case, unintentionally) putting your audience to sleep!

Thanksgiving and the Power of the Call to Action

Earlier this year, I discussed what we can learn from Abraham Lincoln's delivery style.

Now as Thanksgiving approaches, I want to focus on his content.

In 1863, in the midst of the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a National Thanksgiving Day.


In his Thanksgiving proclamation, Lincoln spoke of the importance of gratitude in a time of profound national strife. But as eloquent as his words may have been, it was only his call to action that gave his statement such lasting impact:

I do, therefore, invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea, and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and prayer to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens.


Lincoln's moving proclamation is a powerful reminder of the importance of including a clear action step in almost any speech.

Only rarely do we give a fully informative speech. Almost always, there is something we want our listeners to do.


We celebrate Thanksgiving each year as a national holiday because one leader called us to action. Each presentation is an opportunity not simply to inform but to influence change.

From the Green Room: Each time you prepare a presentation, ask yourself:

What do I want my audience to do after hearing me?

Then decide on a specific action. Clarifying the goal beforehand will help guide and focus your presentation.

Don't Sacrifice the Eyes

Yesterday I led a presentation skills training for a group of nonprofit fundraisers.

As we practiced "connection techniques" (ways to use voice, body language, and eyes to connect with the listener), one participant asked,

"Many times, we have to make phone calls to people we don't know. How can we apply this training?"

I had a difficult time answering him.

On one hand, I could help him find ways to connect with a stranger over the phone. (vocal variation, warmth of tone, etc.) But really, I knew this would be insufficient.

Phone solicitations work when the listener has already made a commitment. The phone call merely seals the deal. The goal here is not connection - but rather completion.

The power of conversation can only be truly realized in a live format.

While so much is lost in non-live exchange, perhaps the greatest sacrifice is eye contact.

As a speaker, the most powerful way to engage your listener is by truly looking him in the eye. This is true whether you are speaking to an audience of 1 or 1,000.

On a fundamental level, human beings want to be seen.

And making eye contact is the most fundamental and the most powerful to do this.

From the Green Room: If you really need something from somebody, don't sacrifice your greatest asset - your eyes. Take the time to meet face to face and make sustained, direct eye contact. Even if you are speaking to a large group, this is the most powerful way to connect.

Remember the Rule of Three

Today I taught a music class for a group of 2-year olds.

One of the songs they like best is called "Me, You, We."

Each verse contains three lines of one word each:

Me

You

We

then...

Yes

No

Maybe

and finally...

I

Love

You

That's it. Really.

And the kids love it! Why? Because it's so easy to remember.

Today I realized that even at the tender age of two, people respond to the Rule of Three.

People remember things much more in threes than they do in twos - or even one. Me, You, We is especially memorable, as the words in each of the verses connect to each other.

From the Green Room: Whether you are speaking for 30 seconds or 30 minutes, remember the Rule of Three.

Break down your speech into three distinct points.

Even better, find a thematic way to connect your three points to each other.

(e.g. Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow; Stop, look, listen; We came, we saw, we conquered)

It's simple, it's clear, and it works!

Cliff Lee on Keeping Cool

Watch this video of Phillies' pitcher Cliff Lee coolly catching a fly ball in Game 1 of the 2009 World Series against the New York Yankees:




Now listen to his post-game interview on ESPN

"About being cool...this is the stage that I've wanted to get to from a little kid. Now that I'm here, I've already put the work in, there's no sense in being nervous and worried it's time to go out there an let my talent and skills take over and execute pitches I've already done everything I know I need to do to prepare for it so there's no reason for me to be nervous.

Amen.

Prepare for Your Fallibility: Mind Blank Recovery Tips from Olivia Mitchell

It happens to each of us. No matter how prepared you are, there will come a time in your speaking career when you have a mind blank.

The question to ask yourself is not "Will this happen to me?"

The question you should be asking is "When this happens to me, will I know what to do?"

Olivia Mitchell, author of the Speaking about Presenting blog offers some excellent tips for both preventing and recovering from mind blanks.

I especially appreciate her advice to practice remembering and to develop a recovery routine:

Practice remembering

If you can’t think of what you want to say during a rehearsal, don’t jump straight to your notes. Try and remember what you want to say. This will strengthen your memory for the flow of the presentation and will train your brain to remember – rather than panic.

Develop a recovery routine

Work out how you’ll recover from a mind blank. Here’s my suggested recovery routine:

1. Stop talking
2. Look at your notes and find your place
3. Look ahead in your notes to see what comes next
4. Decide what you will say next
5. Look up again
6. Find someone to talk to
7. Start talking.

What I like about this advice is that it shows the importance not just of preparing your content and delivery - but also of preparing for your fallibility.

By accepting that you can and will make mistakes - and that this is just fine - you can better prepare for and even embrace the unexpected.

When the Speech Trainer Has Stagefright

Yesterday, I learned an important lesson about a major pitfall of public speaking - not from watching someone else, but from my own mistake.

I was teaching a class (not about speaking) and realized about 20 minutes beforehand that I was unprepared. I thought I had done enough work. I thought I knew what I was doing.

What I realized was that I had not taken ownership over my content. And it was too late to do anything about it.

I tell my clients that if you are crystal clear about your message - if you really know what you want the audience to understand, then the delivery just flows.

And if you don't? It's much harder to overcome anxiety - especially if you are asked to convey real information.

This is what happened to me yesterday.

My heart raced. My palms got sweaty. I panicked.

I made it through the class, but I felt pretty miserable afterward.

I am grateful to have had this experience, as it reinforced for me the absolute importance not just of knowing your material, but of distilling it into a clear and focused message.

I was reminded of an earlier post on this blog - Be A Starfish Speaker. I wrote:

Visualize your presentation as a starfish. Your central message is the middle and your main points radiate our from there. If you get off track, just return back to the center.

I was unable to return to the center, because I hadn't yet solidified my core message.

Yesterday I broke my own rule and I paid the price.

From the Green Room: There is simply no substitute for preparation. Even if you are a speech trainer.

Getting to the Root Cause of Stagefright

Lisa Braithwaite, speech coach and author of the Speak Schmeak public speaking blog commented on my last post and referenced a terrific letter to the editor, which she posted in her blog back in 2007:

The letter, written by Ed Barks, discussed some potential pitfalls of the speaking advice offered in the Post's article about the Stagefright Survival School. Ed offered this alternative:

Those who hope to overcome their fears must attack them at the root. The cause may be stage fright. Or it may be something altogether different, such as shyness, insecurity, uncertainty about one's topic, fear of being judged, lack of passion or another cause.

In other words, having a speaker hold on to a microphone, prescribing beta-blockers, etc treats the symptoms of stagefright - but not the cause. By just treating the symptoms, speakers may learn how to cope with stagefright, but they will never overcome it.

For many people, stagefright is a learned response that comes from a traumatic performance experience in childhood. (e.g. piano recital, school play, class presentation...) Every time the person is asked to speak, he returns to the childhood trauma.

At Green Room Speakers, clients learn how to overcome stagefright first by identifying the root causes. Then we help clients break the pattern of negative association, by helping them connect speaking in public with past experiences of strength, calm, and presence.

From the Green Room: Have Stagefright? Don't fear. You can do more than just learn to cope with it. By getting the root of the anxiety, you can learn to overcome - and actually begin to enjoy speaking in public.

Got Stagefright? Try This.

Many of my clients prefer to speak with a podium because "it gives me something to hold on to."

The impulse to hold onto something is sound. It makes you feel grounded - which is a very good thing when you're nervous.

I remembered that in February 2007, the Washington Post published an article about stagefright in which they highlighted techniques used at the Stagefright Survival School in Alexandria, VA:

"We also use grounding techniques," Charney says. "You grab hold of the podium and with your hands squeeze as hard as you can. You move the locus of attention away from your bad thoughts to your hand. Pain in your hand is better than craziness in your mind at the moment."

The problem is that there really is no way to hold onto the podium gracefully. You always look as though you're clinging to it for dear life - which perhaps you are.

Here is a technique I learned from the Ron Hoff's public speaking handbook, I Can See You Naked:

As you speak, keep your arms loosely by your sides and on each hand, press your thumb and forefinger together. You will feel as though you are holding on to something - and the best part is that the audience will never know.

It's a grounding technique that helps control stagefright, while keeping the speaker looking strong.