Welcome Your Guests

So often we begin a speech by thanking the audience or someone in the audience for asking us to speak. This small (arguably unnecessary gesture) perhaps unknowingly puts the speaker in the mindset of being a guest. The speaker subsequently must ingratiate himself to the "hosts" - the audience.

What happens?

The speaker pulls back. After all, it's difficult to fully be yourself when you're a guest in someone's home. Particularly, if you don't know the hosts well.

Stephanie Scotti, author of the blog, Speaker Notes, offers this excellent piece of advice:

Transform the Room... Close your eyes for a moment and shift your thinking. This is no longer a ballroom, or a boardroom, or a trade show hall…it’s your living room. And the audience, each and every one of them, is a welcomed guest.

Just as you would greet guests arriving at your home, adopt the same attitude in welcoming listeners to your presentation. This simple change of perspective allows you to project confidence and manage the dynamics of the room. Because, after all, you’re the host.


From the Green Room: Instead of thanking the audience for inviting you, welcome them to your presentation. In an instant, you are no longer a guest, but rather the host - with a wonderful presentation to offer each of your guests who have come to hear you.

Remember the Rule of Three

Today I taught a music class for a group of 2-year olds.

One of the songs they like best is called "Me, You, We."

Each verse contains three lines of one word each:

Me

You

We

then...

Yes

No

Maybe

and finally...

I

Love

You

That's it. Really.

And the kids love it! Why? Because it's so easy to remember.

Today I realized that even at the tender age of two, people respond to the Rule of Three.

People remember things much more in threes than they do in twos - or even one. Me, You, We is especially memorable, as the words in each of the verses connect to each other.

From the Green Room: Whether you are speaking for 30 seconds or 30 minutes, remember the Rule of Three.

Break down your speech into three distinct points.

Even better, find a thematic way to connect your three points to each other.

(e.g. Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow; Stop, look, listen; We came, we saw, we conquered)

It's simple, it's clear, and it works!

Cliff Lee on Keeping Cool

Watch this video of Phillies' pitcher Cliff Lee coolly catching a fly ball in Game 1 of the 2009 World Series against the New York Yankees:




Now listen to his post-game interview on ESPN

"About being cool...this is the stage that I've wanted to get to from a little kid. Now that I'm here, I've already put the work in, there's no sense in being nervous and worried it's time to go out there an let my talent and skills take over and execute pitches I've already done everything I know I need to do to prepare for it so there's no reason for me to be nervous.

Amen.

Prepare for Your Fallibility: Mind Blank Recovery Tips from Olivia Mitchell

It happens to each of us. No matter how prepared you are, there will come a time in your speaking career when you have a mind blank.

The question to ask yourself is not "Will this happen to me?"

The question you should be asking is "When this happens to me, will I know what to do?"

Olivia Mitchell, author of the Speaking about Presenting blog offers some excellent tips for both preventing and recovering from mind blanks.

I especially appreciate her advice to practice remembering and to develop a recovery routine:

Practice remembering

If you can’t think of what you want to say during a rehearsal, don’t jump straight to your notes. Try and remember what you want to say. This will strengthen your memory for the flow of the presentation and will train your brain to remember – rather than panic.

Develop a recovery routine

Work out how you’ll recover from a mind blank. Here’s my suggested recovery routine:

1. Stop talking
2. Look at your notes and find your place
3. Look ahead in your notes to see what comes next
4. Decide what you will say next
5. Look up again
6. Find someone to talk to
7. Start talking.

What I like about this advice is that it shows the importance not just of preparing your content and delivery - but also of preparing for your fallibility.

By accepting that you can and will make mistakes - and that this is just fine - you can better prepare for and even embrace the unexpected.

When the Speech Trainer Has Stagefright

Yesterday, I learned an important lesson about a major pitfall of public speaking - not from watching someone else, but from my own mistake.

I was teaching a class (not about speaking) and realized about 20 minutes beforehand that I was unprepared. I thought I had done enough work. I thought I knew what I was doing.

What I realized was that I had not taken ownership over my content. And it was too late to do anything about it.

I tell my clients that if you are crystal clear about your message - if you really know what you want the audience to understand, then the delivery just flows.

And if you don't? It's much harder to overcome anxiety - especially if you are asked to convey real information.

This is what happened to me yesterday.

My heart raced. My palms got sweaty. I panicked.

I made it through the class, but I felt pretty miserable afterward.

I am grateful to have had this experience, as it reinforced for me the absolute importance not just of knowing your material, but of distilling it into a clear and focused message.

I was reminded of an earlier post on this blog - Be A Starfish Speaker. I wrote:

Visualize your presentation as a starfish. Your central message is the middle and your main points radiate our from there. If you get off track, just return back to the center.

I was unable to return to the center, because I hadn't yet solidified my core message.

Yesterday I broke my own rule and I paid the price.

From the Green Room: There is simply no substitute for preparation. Even if you are a speech trainer.

Getting to the Root Cause of Stagefright

Lisa Braithwaite, speech coach and author of the Speak Schmeak public speaking blog commented on my last post and referenced a terrific letter to the editor, which she posted in her blog back in 2007:

The letter, written by Ed Barks, discussed some potential pitfalls of the speaking advice offered in the Post's article about the Stagefright Survival School. Ed offered this alternative:

Those who hope to overcome their fears must attack them at the root. The cause may be stage fright. Or it may be something altogether different, such as shyness, insecurity, uncertainty about one's topic, fear of being judged, lack of passion or another cause.

In other words, having a speaker hold on to a microphone, prescribing beta-blockers, etc treats the symptoms of stagefright - but not the cause. By just treating the symptoms, speakers may learn how to cope with stagefright, but they will never overcome it.

For many people, stagefright is a learned response that comes from a traumatic performance experience in childhood. (e.g. piano recital, school play, class presentation...) Every time the person is asked to speak, he returns to the childhood trauma.

At Green Room Speakers, clients learn how to overcome stagefright first by identifying the root causes. Then we help clients break the pattern of negative association, by helping them connect speaking in public with past experiences of strength, calm, and presence.

From the Green Room: Have Stagefright? Don't fear. You can do more than just learn to cope with it. By getting the root of the anxiety, you can learn to overcome - and actually begin to enjoy speaking in public.

Got Stagefright? Try This.

Many of my clients prefer to speak with a podium because "it gives me something to hold on to."

The impulse to hold onto something is sound. It makes you feel grounded - which is a very good thing when you're nervous.

I remembered that in February 2007, the Washington Post published an article about stagefright in which they highlighted techniques used at the Stagefright Survival School in Alexandria, VA:

"We also use grounding techniques," Charney says. "You grab hold of the podium and with your hands squeeze as hard as you can. You move the locus of attention away from your bad thoughts to your hand. Pain in your hand is better than craziness in your mind at the moment."

The problem is that there really is no way to hold onto the podium gracefully. You always look as though you're clinging to it for dear life - which perhaps you are.

Here is a technique I learned from the Ron Hoff's public speaking handbook, I Can See You Naked:

As you speak, keep your arms loosely by your sides and on each hand, press your thumb and forefinger together. You will feel as though you are holding on to something - and the best part is that the audience will never know.

It's a grounding technique that helps control stagefright, while keeping the speaker looking strong.

Getting in the Green Room - The Zen of Surfing and Speaking

I originally decided to call my company Green Room Speakers because of its theater definition:

From Wikipedia:

A green room is a room in a theater, studio, or other public venue for the accommodation of performers or speakers when not required on the stage.

In other words, the green room is a place for performers to prepare before they get on stage.

Yet I recently learned that green room has a second definition.

In surfing, the green room is the inside of a barrel that is produced by a wave. This term was coined due to the color of light reflected into the barrel.

This moment of being inside the barrel of the wave is described as the ultimate zen surfing experience.

The Utne reader just published an article called The Zen of Surfing. The article describes how understanding the wave is the key to enjoying it:

If you understand the wave and how it moves, you don't have to be afraid of it (or at the very least, you can be less afraid). After all, when you break a wave down to its basic nature, it is just cycling energy moving through water. When the conditions are right, when the water is shallow enough, the wave is born.

When I realized this on an experiential level, the waves lost their ability to paralyze me. I began to see through them and enjoy riding them.... And when a beautiful wave comes,... we can catch it, maybe even get inside the hollow tube and see its beautiful emptiness.

This is what it means to be inside the Green Room.

At Green Room Speakers, I help my clients learn now to master their anxiety and get in the zone - the green room - each time they get up to speak. For many speakers, the experience of being in the green room is one of pure connection to the audience.

This is a learned skill and one we can all cultivate.

What Patrick Swayze Taught Us About the Art of Public Speaking

A great speech coach once gave me the following advice:

Try practicing your entire speech without once moving your head.


Not easy.

This is the way Patrick Swayze danced.

Look at the closing scene from Dirty Dancing. His body moves in perfect rhythm. He is beyond sexy. And his head remains absolutely still.



This enables him to maintain full eye contact with Jennifer Grey - and is, I believe, the secret to what makes this scene so riveting and so memorable.

From the Green Room: To master the art of public speaking, as you make eye contact with individuals in your audience, try keeping your head as still as possible.

Thank you Patrick Swayze.

Inspiration from Steve Jobs

Given Steve Jobs' return to work last week after a 5-month medical leave following his liver transplant, there's no better time than now to go back and listen to Jobs' 2005 commencement speech at Stanford University.

I first heard the speech three years ago, when I had just gotten into this work. It continues to be a source of inspiration to me:





Jobs speaks powerfully about the vital importance of loving what you do.

I believe this lesson can be applied even if you are not "in love" with your work - or with your presentation topic.

In other words. even if you are given the task of delivering speak on an inherently dull, dry, loveless, or otherwise miserable subject, strive to connect it to something you care about. For some, this is an impossible task - yet even the effort of trying will make a difference.

The more you can find reasons to care about your content - and about the people who are listening to you - the stronger your presentation will be.

From the Green Room: Each time you speak, try to connect your content to something you really care about. And if you find yourself feeling utterly uninspired, watch Steve Jobs' commencement speech, again.

Be a Starfish Speaker

One day this summer, while walking with my family on the Santa Barbara pier, my son excitedly pointed out to me a large starfish floating in the water.

We talked that day about the starfish's amazing powers of regeneration. We couldn't help but wonder, wouldn't it be great if people also could grow back lost limbs?

But then it occured to me that in a metaphorical sense, we can!

Many of my clients express anxiety that they will forget part of their speech and that this will get them off track and ultimately ruin the whole speech.

To address this anxiety, perhaps we can learn a thing or two from the starfish.

You see, most starfish are able to regenerate limbs only if they have their central body intact.

Next time you prepare your content and each and every time you practice your speech, first review the central message of your presentation. You should be able to state this in no more than one sentence.

Then if you "lose a limb" during your speech (i.e. forget a point, lose track of your direction, etc.), as long as you return to your central message, you can always regenerate that portion of your presentation. It may not look exactly the way it did before, but it will get your point across.

From the Green Room: Visualize your presentation as a starfish. Your central message is the middle and your main points radiate our from there. If you get off track, just return back to the center.

Less is More

Yesterday I had a fascinating conversation with a conductor who spent the summer working with an orchestra in Salzburg. She spoke of the challenge of communicating with the musicians in German, when she barely speaks the language.

The conductor was forced to say less and rely even more on nonverbal communication and say only what was absolutely necessary. She realized that she was able to get across the same information just as effectively - and much more efficiently - than when she was speaking in English.

From the Green Room: Next time you prepare a presentation, imagine that you will be speaking to a group of people for whom English is a second language. Eliminate filler words. Speak as simply and clearly as possible. Focus on the essence of what you are trying to communicate. Then try practicing your speech focusing solely on nonverbal communication (gestures, facial expressions, movement, etc).

You will see that by using fewer words, you will actually say much more.

The Emotional Power of Variety

In the June 2009 issue of Oprah magazine, Tim Jarvis discusses a psychology study conducted by Dr. Emily Pronin at Stanford on the power of speed reading to raise spirits. Pronin discovered that fast-thinking activities such as speed-reading actually induce a positive mood.

At the same time, she also found that in certain situations, such as times of stress, slowing down makes us happier. Pronin concludes:

"We found that varied thoughts tend to be more uplifting, whereas repetitive thinking tends to be mood downer."

The same is true for a listening audience.

A presentation with vocal variety - in volume, pace, pitch and emotion - is not only more interesting to listen to, but makes your audience feel better listening to you so that they want to hear more.

From the Green Room: Vary your voice. You will lift your audience's spirits so they have more energy to listen to you.

Begin With the Unexpected

While visiting my husband's family in Santa Barbara this week, I had the pleasure of listening to a performance of the Canadian Brass at the Lobero Theater.

As we took our seats, I noticed that the stage was set up predicably - with black chairs arranged in a semi-circle, music stands, and brass instruments ready.

When the lights went down, we heard horns playing from the back of the concert hall and turned around to see the quintet slowly walking down the aisles, playing what sounded like a graceful processional. By the time they reached the stage, they had us.

What was so brilliant about this entrance, was that the stage set-up had led us to believe that the musicians would enter from the wings. The simple twist of entering from the back - and thus physically being with the audience - enabled the musicians to both surprise and connect to us. The effect was both captivating and endearing. You could feel the warmth and affection coming from the audience for the rest of the performance.

From the Green Room: Try beginning your presentation with something unexpected that also brings you closer to the audience. They will love you for it.

To Gain More Confidence Public Speaking, Jump Up and Laugh!

Recently, I ran a training for a group of young professionals. I asked them to stand up, muster as much energy as they could, and say "Good morning everyone."

Not bad, I told them afterwards.

Next, I asked them to jump and laugh at the same time for about five seconds before again saying together, "Good morning everyone."

This time, the energy in the room increased tremendously.

Jump and laugh is a simple exercise used by actors before an audition. It is almost impossible not to sound energized and enthusiastic after doing it - and it's a wonderful way to channel nervous energy and gain more confidence public speaking.

Someone in the group asked the obvious question, "What's the point of this exercise if you can't actually do it in public, right before you speak."

Ah, so here's the secret:

If you practice jumping and laughing each time before you rehearse your presentation, you will train your mind to return to that same of state of high energy right before your actual speech - even without the exercise.

From the Green Room: Each time you practice, jump and laugh right beforehand. The dual motions give you a burst of energy and launch you straight into the present moment - exactly where you should be. Being fully present will give you more confidence public speaking.